February 2003
Page 1 - The Process of Transition by Graham Cooke
Page 2 - The ARC Culture by Paul Anderson
Page 3 - "Nevertheless..." by Mary Ann Herzan
"Nevertheless..."
by Mary Ann Herzan"O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me;
nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will." (Matthew 26:39)Sometimes the will of God is hard. We find ourselves in a place where we cannot believe what He is asking. After all, isn't God supposed to be in my life to make it easier? Has He not said, "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:30)? Are we not supposed to trust that He goes before, preparing the way? Of course we are. But we must remember that He also said, "Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life" (Matthew 7:14). We are looking at two sides of the same coin-discovering and doing God's will. We must enter through the narrow gate (the hard part) in order to take His yoke upon us (the easy part). What is the "narrow gate" and "difficult way"? To put it simply, the narrow gate is the cross-the place where we lay down our wills and take up His. When we take up His will we are joining Him in His yoke, which becomes easy because He Himself is working in us to accomplish His purpose.
We are prone to look at our circumstances and call them our "cross," but the true cross is in our heart, our will. Two people can be going through the same circumstance and one can be personally in the will of God and the other not, because the intent of our heart determines the will. When Jesus said that those who sought to be His disciples must take up their cross daily He did not mean that we were to just accept anything and everything that happened. He meant that in anything and everything we were to seek the will of the Father. This means that the will of God in our lives is not passive acceptance, but an active and continuous seeking and obeying. The circumstance is not the entirety of His will, but also our response and action in the circumstance.
If we look at the life of Jesus we see that He went often to the quiet hills. This place of solitude was where He fellowshipped with the Father, being renewed and counseled. I am convinced that Gethsemane was not His first encounter in the struggle of the will. Obviously, it was the most intense because of the magnitude of His upcoming suffering and death, but He was doing in this situation what He had done all along-going to His Father to seek and obey the Father's will; it was the place where He "worked things out." In public Jesus never apologized for the Father's will; He never guessed or hesitated about it. When He spoke, it was with dignity, quiet confidence, and an unshakable authority people marveled at. This came from "taking up His cross" in private.
Though this applies to all Christians, I believe it is especially important for those in leadership. Years ago as I was preparing for a retreat I felt the Lord say to my heart, "Do not ever presume to speak to My children on My behalf without first speaking to Me!" What diplomat would dare, especially in a crisis, speak publicly of his or her own personal feelings rather than those of the leadership of the country represented? The diplomat must retreat to hear the heart and mind of the one in charge or great damage could result. Think of how often, in times of a crisis on foreign soil, we hear, "The White House is in constant communication…." I believe this is why we are warned not to raise people to leadership positions too quickly (I Timothy 5:22). They must be people who are willing to take the time to seek the Lord's heart, and willing to obey with true humility, having taken the Lord's will as their own.
To be a Christian disciple has great cost. The Father longs for us to be His "planting…that He may be glorified" (Isaiah 61:3b). One of the meanings of the Hebrew word used here for "glorified" is "to make clear." We, as Christians, are in the world to make the Lord clear. The cost for this is to always enter the narrow gate of the cross, laying down what we might like to do or say and be willing to let Him make Himself clear through us. It reminds me of the time when Mother Teresa, though small in stature, silenced a room full of international dignitaries and leaders with the authority of her words when speaking about abortion. She was allowing the Lord to make Himself clear through her. Every person in the room recognized that "something" was behind her words; and that "something" was the power and presence of the Lord honoring a yielded heart and will. Just think what could happen if each of us held our tongues until we had wrestled in private with our wills!
Does this mean that we have to always "go it alone" or that we can't talk about our feelings? If we look again at Gethsemane, we see that Jesus asked Peter, James and John to be with Him in His struggle. We know what happened-they slept during His time of great need. They did not understand the magnitude of what He was going through. His Father did not abandon Him; He saw...and sent angels to be where friends could not. We all need and should have those around us who provide a safe place to wrestle with our emotions. Yet, even if they do not grasp the reality of our struggle, our Father does, and He will do no less for us than He did for Jesus-He will send what is needed.
James 3:17 tells us, "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable." When we have wrestled through the narrow gate we find the peace of God that enables us to endure. We are no longer tossed to and fro by different scenarios in our mind; we no longer feel obliged to defend our actions. We may be asked to explain them but that is different than defending them.
Some time ago a friend of mine was struggling with whether a deep desire of her heart was the Lord's will or not. As I asked her questions she assumed I was saying the desire was not His will, and began a mild defense. I told her that I was not looking for a "yes" or "no," but for the peace that would be hers when she had struggled through to the heart of God. We can have peace in very difficult and painful circumstances. To see Jesus move through His final hours after Gethsemane was to see a man at peace. The peace won in Gethsemane kept Him through a time more difficult and dark than anyone before or since has had to experience-for He took the darkness of us all on Himself.
"Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:8
The most important word I can give you about going through the narrow gate is to be honest in the Lord's presence. As the psalmist says, "pour out your heart." Nothing shocks Him; nothing will cause Him to turn away from you. I cannot say enough how much He values our being real with Him. If you're angry, tell Him. Pour it out so that His grace and power can come in. If you're afraid, verbalize it and then place Him and His promises alongside your fear. Let Him hold you, like a mother with a child, as you wrestle with your heart. No one can understand the depth of your feelings better than He.We all have a "nevertheless" journey before us. We do not need answers from one another as much as we need encouragement to enter the narrow gate and find the peace of God that passes understanding-that does not need to understand. When we empty ourselves and can say, "Nevertheless," Jesus rushes into that emptiness. He does not send us a parcel of peace but comes Himself. We discover a fellowship with Him that is more precious than anything; more precious even than the desire we wrestled with. It is the "life" that is promised after entering the narrow gate. Asaph took a "nevertheless" journey and discovered that place of fellowship in his wrestling; you can read about it in Psalm 73. He went into the sanctuary with confusion, envy, and anger, yet came out saying,
"Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You."
Mary Ann Herzan is director of David's Heart, a ministry of East Immanuel Lutheran Church in St. Paul, Minnesota. She may be contacted at Davids_Heart@juno.com or at East Immanuel, 1173 Payne Avenue, St. Paul, Minnesota 55101.
